Party Beads, Shower Daquiries, and Birthday Fails: New Orleans Edition

I’m sure you can already tell from the title that my 25th birthday was SOMETHING ELSE. Not quite a shitshow, mind you, but it had its moments for SURE.

I was very fortunate to spend my 25th birthday on a weekend trip to New Orleans with some of my best friends, eating some of the best foods, and having an obscene amount of laughs in our airbnb piled onto one bed. (#SorryNotSorry those pictures will never see the light of day). Though, if you had listened to this podcast, I’m sure you’ve heard the MAJOR thing that happened on my birthday. If not, keep reading for a solid laugh.

Party Beads You Say!?

How NOT to spend your birthday weekend in New Orleans.

I know everybody is aware about New Orleans infamous Mardi Gras beads and how you obtain them. (Even though, you can literally buy them anYWheRE guys. Or pick them up off the ground on Bourbon Street. They’re even thrown to the crowds during parades). I did spend one evening of my birthday weekend on Bourbon Street…and yes I did get authentic Bourbon street beads. Mostly because I got hit in the head with a couple… Most of the people on the balconies will just freely toss beads out to anyone they feel like. (Maybe there’s a science behind it. I don’t know!) An old college friend of mine called me a liar… but I swear it was the truth!

Shower Daquiris… BETTER than Shower Beers

How NOT to spend your birthday weekend in New Orleans. Featuring Bourbon Street beads and drinks, shower daquiris.
No picture of the shower daquiri… but here’s me on Bourbon street with a “Shark Attack” instead

Ahh…. shower daquiris. 10 out of 10, would recommend you bring a daquiri into the shower with you. Now, I’m sure there might be a few of you asking, “Miranda, a daquiri in the shower?? REALLY?” Yes, Brenda, I brought my strawberry daquiri (in a convenient foam cup) into the shower with me. It was absolutely refreshing while taking a hot, relaxing shower. It balanced quite nicely, you’d be surprised. Plus, the daquiri definitely helped numb the pain of what happened just prior. If you’re in NOLA for the weekend, I’d definitely recommend getting fries and a daquiri from Willie’s Chicken Shack. I would NOT recommend what happens next in this post…

Birthday FAILS: How NOT to Spend Your Weekend in New Orleans

The moment in the post that you’ve all been waiting for. One of the things I was MOST excited to do was kayak through the swamp and bayou in New Orleans. I absolutely love nature, and the swamp was so beautiful and serene. Our guide on this tour was fabulous, and my friends and I learned so much about the plants and wildlife in the New Orleans area.

I was even very fortunate to get some pictures of some ADORABLE turtles on a log. There were about 6 or 8 turtles, squished together, just enjoying life. As our kayak floated closer, most of them had jumped off, but one little turtle seemed to really love his glory moment in front of the camera. He stretched out his neck, turned his head a little as if he was posing… and then I heard squealing from behind us.

I turned around to see my other two friends squealing and laughing as their kayak collided into a tree. Shortly as this happened, I saw my phone slip out of my hand and sink into the abyss of the swamp. Yes, my iphone is at thE BOTTOM OF A SWAMP IN NEW ORLEANS. No I did not get it out. Do you think swamps are crystal clear and we can see the bottom perfectly in our kayaks? I couldn’t see it after it sunk 6 inches. I tried to grab it once, but if I had leaned to grab a second time, we would’ve been swimming. Not ideal at all.

I have to admit, saying I was “angry” would be quite the understatement, and the woman that looked at me and said, IMMEDIATELY after it happened, “Five second rule?” definitely didn’t help. Congratulations, random stranger on the tour with us, you said the dumbest thing at my peak moment of anger. There are moments where I still can’t believe this happened.

After awhile of grumbling, being stunned at losing my phone after trying to be overly prepared, and pissed off that I’d have to spend an atrocious amount of money, my friend said, “well, there’s really not much you can do about it.” & She made an excellent point that put SO much into perspective. There was NOTHING to do except go to the sprint store and get a new phone once we were back in town. Why continue to be angry and bitch about something I can’t change? Staying angry would have ruined MY birthday, my entire birthday trip (because I would’ve kept negative energy attached to the trip and this city), as well as my friends’ vacation.

So, I did what I do best—-make jokes about a terrible situation. I asked our guide if the alligators would have been okay. I said this would have NEVER happened if I stuck to #TeamAndroid. Thanks to my ex boyfriend for convincing me. It’s clearly his fault. (Don’t worry, he’ll never read this because he refused to read any of my blogs lolllll). Sometimes making light of a shitty situation to make yourself laugh makes everything better. I felt better, and everyone around me was more at ease, too.

Of course, we got back into town and took a Lyft to the closest Sprint store, and that is where my beautiful friends got me a daquiri… that I was 100% allowed to drink while buying my new iPhone XR. God bless the employee that said “GURLLLL you can totally drink in here! It’s New Orleans! Besides, you deserve it.” As well as all of the patrons in the store that cringed and felt my pain.

My next question is for you, and be completely honest with yourself…

How do you think you would’ve handled this situation? Would you have handled it as well as this?

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